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Writer's pictureAdam Bamforth

Perspective - Sex before marriage

Recently I have been meeting with someone to discuss some culturally accepted practices that are against the traditional Biblical perspective. Looking to explore these, I have presented some readings and comments to help anyone formulate a response should they ever be challenged in their everyday life.


I believe the Christian point of view on sex and living together before marriage begins with “Genesis 2:24”, everything then comes as the reverse side of the same coin.

God’s Design for Marriage - Genesis 2:24

Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman coming together in an agreement (covenant) to become one before God. No other relationship has this bond. Anything outside of this therefore attempts to recreate this arrangement without this firm commitment in place and will, therefore, always be weaker.

Sexual purity and Holiness – 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

This verse covers a lot, but is the reverse side of stepping outside of God’s design. We are to be controlled in our attempt to live holy. Therefore, anything that is faux intimacy without marriage is just relinquishing to lust.

Lowers the barrier for sex – Proverbs 6:27-28

If sex is not linked to the covenant made between a husband and wife, it lowers our moral standards and opens us up to sin and temptation later in the relationship.

Trust and commitment, distorting the relationship foundation

This is not linked to a specific verse, but sex before marriage hinders the development of a solid relationship without the introduction of lust and corrupted emotions. Creates a tie through sex rather than a covenant. This creates uncertainty on whether the relationship is truly a good or bad one. This can cloud our judgement, making it hard to make good decisions and can lead to the unhealthy practice of comparing the spouse with previous partners.

Honouring God’s standard – 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

For a Christian, this perspective can be multi-layered. Number 1 is that It impacts our faithful witness to the world by damaging our reputation. It can damage our wider reputation (however, this is more cultural now in the Western world as it becomes more accepted in society). It may create shame in us (because we recognise that we are taking part in ongoing sin), which will ultimately hinder our relationship with God.

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